Tales of Booty from a Master Pirate

Over the years we’ve all had wonderful and memorable climbs: hard routes sent, projects completed, magical experiences, terrible climbs where things go wrong, bodies are hurt, or worse. I can remember almost every one of my climbs, but the ones that stand out most are the climbs when I stumbled upon pirate treasure. Booty. BOOTAYY GEAR.

Yes, you can refer to me as Cap’n Booty from now on, because I’m here to share a few select stories about a small portion of the gear I’ve scored using the bootying tips and tricks explained my last post. Below you’ll see proof that those tips actually work! And perhaps you’ll be inspired to go on your own journeys, hunting for pirate treasure.

#1: Basteeled Cam

The Bastille Crack in Eldo Canyon outside Boulder, CO, travels an incredible line up a classic face in a world class climbing area. I was following that day. In the middle of the steep 5.6 second pitch I came across a mysterious piece of red sling deep in the hand crack. I yallered up to me leader and confirmed that he hadn’t placed any gear in this particular spot. After closer examination I spied that it was a marooned cam that had been buried too deep for the average climber to extricate. Armed with my trusty nut tool, it took just 10 minutes of whacking, thumping, and torqueing before I could wiggle the cam into a looser position, trigger the lobes, and remove the precious red Black Diamond #1 C4!

And, to avoid the Black Spot, we checked with all the parties on the route and on the ground to see if they had left a cam behind. No takers or hornswoggling. Since that wonderful day, I’ve used this bootyful cam on almost every climb since and it’s become a critical triple piece in Yosemite cracks.

#2: Flaking Wallnut

My second favorite piece of booty gear isn’t necessarily the best find, but a special one. Last July a group of us set out to climb the Northwest Buttress of Tenaya Peak, an ultra-classic easy 14 pitch 5.5 route in Tuolumne Meadows. We split up into 2 teams of 2 and simul-climbed the route in a few hours, combining pitches and building anchors and belaying only as needed. As we neared the summit, ticking off the more technical pitches, we came to a big ledge where it was finally time to coil up the rope and scramble the 3rd class ramp to the true summit. Ahoy! It was there that I wriggled a deeply set DMM #9 Wallnut from the unforgiving grasp of a hungry flake.

On the scrambly descent I somehow managed to drop a climbing shoe–Argh! I presumed it must lay in Davy Jones’ Locker. But previous good karma kicked in. Another crew picked the shoe up and left it at the trailhead for me to discover the following morning. I was later able to find and thank me new bucos on an online forum. Surely a memorable climb. Up a nut and down a shoe.

#3: Insidious Offset

Finally, I never get to climb with my beautiful lasse, who is usually stuck watchin’ the lads (the generosity of my Matey is swell). But recently we were able to get out to Donner Pass for a day. We started out with a warm-up on Insidious Crack on the Grouse Slab. While leading I spied a nut sticking out of the splitter just under the “Y” about halfway up the route. It was a poorly placed DMM #8 Alloy Offset nut that was pushed super deep. A few minutes of solid hammering and it slotted up and out. Sure it was an impressive $15 find, but even better was that I would be seen as a gold digging hero. I pulled it out victoriously in front of ye lasse and then held it aloft like a Jolly Rodger for all of Donner Pass to witness the triumph of man over nut.

Editor’s Note

If you’re reading this post because you fell victim to a gear eating crack and had to leave a piece behind and Bryan bootied it, let us know in the comments and we’ll help you get it back! Or, if it was somebody else that bootied your gear, these links may be helpful to re-stock your rack:

NUTS

CAMS